Blessing and Curse?

Ever since I was a child, I had this fascination with the childbirth process. One of my favorite shows to watch was “Birth Day.” At that time, I wanted to be a doctor and just knew I would be an OB/GYN. When I got older and changed my mind, I decided that I still wanted to work in the health care field. Although, it wasn’t my first option, nursing became my career. I told any who wanted to know that I wanted to work in Labor and Delivery. I knew my chances of getting into that field right out of school were slim to none. But God favored me and allowed me to find a graduate nurse position in Labor and Delivery right after school. I knew it was God by the way everything fell into place. The manager of my unit wasn’t even there to interview me and I still got the job. But that’s another story.
Although, I was eight months into my TTP, I never imagined that working in Labor and Delivery would cause me such distress at the time. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and I thank God for the opportunity that was given to me. It just seemed like the more time that passed that I wasn’t pregnant, the sadder I was at work. I had some good days but I also had some really bad days. It just amazed me how many young mothers I would see come in. There would be 22 year olds pregnant with their fourth child, 19 year olds on the sixth pregnancy, 27 year olds pregnant with their seventh child. How could all of these people be so fertile? It just wasn’t fair. Many of them took for granted the gift of life they were carrying.
Most people would find work as a source of distraction when having their own personal issues. For me, work was a constant reminder of difficulty I was experiencing trying to conceive and it hurt to see people daily doing and experiencing what I so badly wanted to do.